iSpeak
by khay
Summary: Beck and Jade are trying to live their Happily Ever After, but of course, Fate has other ideas. A future!Bade fic, written for the fabulous Thea for the Bade Prompts Gift Exchange with the prompts: first, future.


Title: **iSpeak**

Author: khay

Category: Victorious

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Victorious and all related characters do not belong to me (though I wish they do).

Summary: Beck and Jade are trying to live their Happily Ever After, but of course, Fate has other ideas.

Continuity: Future!Fic

Beta Reader: **xXFireRoseXx** (_You're the best, thanks!_)

Author's Notes: This is my Bade Prompts Gift Exchange Fic for the fabulous **Thea **(**elizabethgillies dot tumblr dot com**). Her prompts are first and future. I hope you like this as much as I adore your gifs :)

* * *

**iSpeak**

* * *

_A 911 call transcript_

(_Ring_)

Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?

Man: I need an ambulance for my wife. _(Unintelligible.)_ There's blood everywhere! Hurry!

Dispatcher: Is your wife conscious, sir?

Man: Yes, she's crying. She's just lying on the floor and crying. (_To companion_) Hold on, babe. Just please hold on.

Dispatcher: Do you see any wounds on your wife? Is she hurt?

Man: No, no. You don't understand. She's pregnant and she's bleeding. I woke up in the middle of the night and saw the bathroom lights were on. She never turns on the light. When I got to the bathroom, there's blood everywhere.

Dispatcher: What street are you on?

Man: We're in Hollywood Heights. 143 Hollywood Heights.

Dispatcher: What is your wife's name?

Man: Jade. Jade West. Hurry, please!

(_Pause_.)

Dispatcher: Help is on the way. _(Unintelligible)_ Okay, what is your name?

Man: Beck Oliver.

Dispatcher: Is your wife lying down?

Man: Yes, she's lying down on the bathroom floor. _(Unintelligible)_

Dispatcher: How far along the pregnancy is your wife?

Man: She's on her tenth week. Should I move her? They're taking so long! Maybe it would be faster if I bring her to the hospital.

Dispatcher: I wouldn't recommend unnecessarily moving her around, sir.

(_Pause_.)

Dispatcher: Sir, they just told me that the paramedics have reached the gate of your house. Someone needs to let them in.

Man: (_To companion_) Babe, I gotta leave for a sec, okay? I gotta let the paramedics in.

(_Soft crying_.)

(_Long pause_.)

(_Unintelligible words_.)

(_Phone call cut off._)

...

...

* * *

**Oh My Stars and Banners!  
**by Melissa Joy

* * *

_**Rogue**_** Actress Jade West Miscarried**

Two weeks after announcing that she was pregnant, actress Jade West was rushed to the hospital after experiencing severe bleeding. An ambulance took Jade from her house in Hollywood Heights to St. Luke's Hospital, where it was confirmed that she had miscarried.

"We assure you that Mrs. Oliver is on her way to a complete recovery and that this incident will leave no lasting effect on her. They can try for a baby again after a few months." Dr. Patricia Cruz, Jade's ob-gynecologist, stated during the press conference held at the lobby of the hospital.

Jade West is best known for writing and directing award-winning indie films, but she rose to fame for her role as _Rogue _in the box-office movie franchise of _X-Men._

Jade West and her husband, actor Beck Oliver, got married three years ago in a private ceremony inside their home.

The baby they lost would have been their first.

The couple request for friends and fans not to send flowers, but donate to the cause _Champions Against Bullying _instead.

We here at _TomCat_ Magazine commiserate with Jade and Beck during this trying time.

...

...

_My dear, sweet friend who is now laying in gloom,  
May this little card that came from my heart  
help your healing zoom!_

_Remember that in the sky still lie the sun, stars and moon,  
I and them wish very hard that you'll  
Get Well Soon!_

Dear Jade,

I'm sorry you lost Jelly Bean. I was looking forward to playing with her and teaching her how to sing and dance and reading stories to her and (_last lines unreadable due to tear drops smearing the writing_).

I love you and Beck and Jelly Bean!

Love, Cat

-_On a card left at the bedside table of Jade West's hospital room_

...

...

_(Beep)_  
_Text Message  
_1:35 am - Jade  
I'm sorry. It's all my fault.

.

(_Glass breaking_)  
_Text Message  
_1:35 am - Beck  
It's NOT your fault.

.

(_Glass breaking_)  
_Text Message  
_1:36 am - Beck  
Please unlock the door &/or pick up your phone.

...

...**  
**

* * *

**From the Desk of Sinjin Van Cleef**

* * *

Sinjin's Things to Do

1. Call casting director for Jade's latest screenplay.

2. Confirm if J would book a flight to Orlando.

3. Send flowers to J :(

4. Pick up dry cleaning for hot date tonight.

5. Check eBay to see if bid for Marilyn Monroe's neighbor's sister's friend's teeth won.

...

...

**GotBeck**: Jade's blaming herself for the miscarriage.

**ToriVega**: it's not her fault :(

**GotBeck**: I know that!

**AndreH**: What can we do to help?

**GotBeck**: I don't know. She's starting to scare me.  
**GotBeck**: Since being released from the hospital, she just locks herself in the bedroom.  
**GotBeck**: And you know how much I love Cat, but it's worse when she visits  
**GotBeck**: She crawls into bed with Jade and they just cry there together.

**ToriVega**: Maybe that's what Jade needs right now.  
**ToriVega**: I know ur used 2 her being strong  
**ToriVega**: But she needs 2 let out her sadness.

**GotBeck**: I just hate that she's shutting me out again!  
**GotBeck**: I feel so helpless.  
**GotBeck**: I, of all people, understand what she's going through.  
**GotBeck**: I lost a child, too!

**ToriVega**: U know Jade. She'll come 2 u when she's ready.

**AndreH**: Hang in there, dude. We're here for you.

...

...

_Jelly Bean, we hardly knew you_  
_We were so excited for you to come_  
_If we believe in heaven,_  
_Then we know that there you will be_  
_Always keep the backdoor open_  
_So that in the future you can sneak us into paradise._

- Robbie Shapiro's unfinished song for Jelly Bean

...

...

_(Beep)  
Text Message  
_12:45 pm - Jade  
There's a box on my bed. It's moving and making strange noises. Do you have anything to do with this?

.

(_Glass breaking_)  
_Text Message  
_1_2_:47 pm - Beck  
Surprise?

_.  
_

_(Beep)  
Text Message  
_1_2_:47 am - Jade  
IT'S A BUNNY!

.

(_Guitar strum_)  
_Text Message  
_1:30 pm - Beck  
On one hand, Jade is finally smiling. On the other, she's now ignoring me, my calls, and my texts. I've been replaced by a fuzzy bunny.

.

(_Guitar strum_)  
_Text Message  
_1:32 pm - Beck  
Thanks for keeping the bunny overnight, dude.

_.  
_

_(Beep)  
Text Message  
_1:40 pm - Andre  
Anything for you and Jade. I'm glad to hear she's feeling better.

...

...

* * *

******Patricia Cruz, M.D., F.A.C.O.G., F.A.C.S.  
**St. Luke's Hospital  
Hollywood, California  


* * *

To Whom It May Concern,

This is to certify that Jade West is now cleared medically from any and all maladies and is deemed fit to resume all her physical activities.

This certification was issued upon the request of Jade West.

Sincerely,

[SGD.] Dr. Patricia Cruz  
License No. 156546

.

_B,  
HA! I told you so.  
-J_

...

...

* * *

_ExcellentFilmsDotCom  
__The One Stop Shop for all Your Movie Needs_

* * *

**X-Men Spin Off, **_**Rogue**_**, Pushes Through**

Half a year after her heartbreaking miscarriage, things are finally looking up for actress Jade West.

Three movies, five years, dozens of petitions and millions of fans later, Schneider Studios finally confirms that filming starts next week in Ohio for the latest _X-Men_ franchise spin off starring the character played by Jade West, _Rogue_.

Click here to read more.

...

...

**AtBeckandjade4evaandevah**  
I just saw Jade West here at d airport! She's on her way 2 Ohio! Imma go lie down & die now!  
50 RETWEETS … 94 FAVORITES

...

...

* * *

To: Jade West  
From: Beck Oliver  
Subject: I miss you

* * *

Babe,

I could just see your eyes rolling at this e-mail's subject, but I do. I really do. Now I can hear your voice telling me, "I just left this morning, you sap!"

I've got it bad, I know.

When I first rolled out of bed this morning, I immediately thought of you — because you once again left your scissors on the floor and I accidentally stepped on them. My foot and I thank you for that, babe.

I love you. Stay strong.

Keep safe in New Orleans, and don't let any smooth-talking Cajun sweep you off your feet.

I love you,

Beck.

...

...

_It's Beck, leave a message and I'll try to get back to you._

(_Beep_.)

Babe, just letting you know that my plane safely landed in New Orleans because I know if I didn't, I'll never hear the end of it. I got your e-mail... Sap. Don't worry. I'll be okay...And fine...Iloveyoutoo!

(_Click_.)

...

...

* * *

_ExcellentFilmsDotCom  
The One Stop Shop for all Your Movie Needs_

* * *

**EXCLUSIVE!  
Candid Photos of Jade West  
on **_**Rogue**_**'s First Day of Shooting**

Click here to see photos.

...

...

(_Beep_)  
_Text Message  
_11:00 am - Jade  
I lied. I can't do this. It's too hard.

.

(_Glass breaking_)  
_Text Message  
_11:10 am - Beck  
Hang in there, babe.

.

(_Glass breaking_)  
Text Message  
11:36 am - Beck  
And for the love of all things holy, Jade, answer your phone!

...

...

* * *

**Scene and Heard  
**by Maria Sommers

* * *

As if we need another reason to swoon over Beck Oliver, he once again proved that he is leading man material not only on-screen but off-screen as well.

Just a couple of days after Beck's wife, the sultry siren Jade West, arrived at Ohio to begin shooting for her first starring film, _Rogue_, Beck flew after her! Armed with a huge bouquet of dark flowers and a basket bearing Jade's pet bunny, Midnight, Beck surprised his wife on location.

"It's just what the doctor ordered," _Rogue _co-star Minerva was quoted as saying. "Before, Jade's acting was brilliant, but she lacked that spark that made her so special. After Beck arrived, though, Jade got her magic back."

Of course, Hollywood's up-and-coming power couple are not without their share of intrigue.

"I think Beck Oliver went here to stake his claim on Jade," a source who asked for anonymity, stated. "After all, Cal Masters, the guy playing Rogue's first love, Cody Robbins, is very vocal about his admiration of Jade West."

Well, who could blame the two men? This is Jade West we're talking about. Click here for more Jade West photos to see for yourself.

...

...

I love you.

_-A message scrawled in red lipstick inside the bathroom mirror of Jade's hotel room._

...

...

I love you more.

_-A message scrawled underneath the first message on the mirror, this time using soapsuds, hours before Beck Oliver flew back to Los Angeles._

...

...

* * *

_The Entertainment Portal  
Delivering Your Daily Dose of Showbiz News Right into Your Computer Screens_

* * *

**Beck Oliver and Jade West Pregnant Again?  
**By Sandy Lee

At around two this morning, Beck Oliver was spotted by sources inside a drug store in Hollywood Heights. He was described as wearing a black tank top, loose jogging pants and a cap hiding his signature silky hair. He had obviously just rolled out of bed.

The source also said that Beck bought three pregnancy kits of different brands, sweet and spicy tamarind candies and banana-almond ice cream.

All signs point to wife Jade West being possibly pregnant. What perfect timing for the couple, as Jade had recently wrapped up shooting her action/adventure movie, _Rogue_!

The Entertainment Portal wishes the couple the best of luck. It might be remembered that a little over a year ago, they miscarried their first child. Click here to read related story.

...

...

(_Guitar strum_)  
_(Ha!)  
(Honking)  
(Zoom)  
Text Message  
_5:47 a.m. - Beck  
I know it's too early, but I need to tell someone before I explode: WE'RE PREGNANT!

.

(_Beep_)  
_Text Message  
_7:34 a.m. - Tori  
OMG! I'm so happy 4 u! Congratulations :{)

.

(_Beep_)  
_Text Message  
_8:02 a.m. - Andre  
Congrats!

.

(_Beep_)  
_Text Message  
_8:39 a.m. – Rob  
This calls for a celebration!

.

(_Beep_)  
Text Message  
10:30 a.m. - Cat  
Aaaaaaaaaaah! :))))))))

...

...

* * *

**A ZOMG Magazine Exclusive!  
**_Our cover model Beck Oliver welcomes us inside his home  
_by Piper Dela Cruz

* * *

[_A full-pledge war broke out in ZOMG Mag Office when we learned that we scored an interview with Hollywood heartthrob Beck Oliver. No less than five features writers, three entertainment writers and seven interns wrestled each other to get the assignment. As it was, Piper had to promise her future first-born child just to be assigned to it. -Ed_]

[_It was worth it. I arrived at the Oliver house more than half an hour earlier than scheduled. When I rang their doorbell, a sweaty, shirtless, just-finished-his-morning-workout Beck Oliver greeted me at at the door. (Ladies, trust me when I say that our cover photo of Beck Oliver? Barely photoshopped; those abs are as real as they come.) -PDC_]

**Z-Mag**: Hi! How are you doing?

**Beck**: Great, great. In just two weeks, we'll finish shooting the season finale of _Socio_. It's perfect timing because Jade just wrapped up shooting _Rogue_ a couple months ago and she's taking her time choosing her next project. I'm looking forward to actually spend time together, instead of playing phone tag.

**Z-Mag**: It is hard that both of you are actors?

**Beck**: In some aspects, it's easier because she understands the lifestyle and the business' demands and the intrigues that come with it. I don't have to explain my job to her when I have to kiss a woman onscreen or whatever. It is harder in others because as actors, we often have to travel a lot, so scheduling's a problem. But, it's worth it.

**Z-Mag**: People know Jade best as _Rogue_, the sexy southern belle who can kick men twice her size into outer space. How is she as a wife?

**Beck**: She's great, the best. I know she has this reputation as a vixen. I mean look at her! She's gorgeous, she's sexy, she's perfect, really. In private, however, she's pretty much the same way. (_Laughs_) She's intimidating because she can do everything and I'm not even exaggerating. You know she's doing mainstream movie stuff, but you should see her indie projects—those movies that she writes and directs. Few people know this, but the main reason she went mainstream is to get funding for her indie movies. And then she goes home and does everything else: cooking, baking, cleaning.

**Z-Mag**: Did Jade bake this muffin? It's delish!

**Beck**: Yes! It's vegan and gluten-free, too. She's been on a health-kick lately. For a time, her rule was that if it tastes good, it's unhealthy for the baby. Good thing she got introduced to this chef who taught her that healthy does not mean tasting like cardboard.

**Z-Mag**: Wait, baby? You're confirming that you guys are pregnant?

**Beck**: Oops. (_Laughs_.) Oh, look at the time! I gotta do a promo shoot.

**Z-Mag**: Any last words?

**Beck**: Yes. Jade, please don't kill me. It slipped.

...

...

(_Beep_)  
_Text Message  
_11:30 a.m. - Tori  
Where r u? Why aren't u answering ur phone?

.

(_Zoom_)  
_Text Message  
_11:53 a.m. - Beck  
I'm shooting my show's season finale, remember? That's the reason why you and Cat went with Jade at her OB appointment.

.

(_Beep_)  
_Text Message  
_1:00 p.m. - Tori  
U need to b here. ASAP.

.

(_Zoom_)  
_Text Message  
_1:02 p.m. - Beck  
What's going on? Tori ANSWER YOUR PHONE!

...

...

* * *

**TheCutDirect2011**DOT**blogger**DOT**com**  
**Giving Stars the Cut Direct Since 2011**

* * *

OMG. It has been all over the news! Jade West miscarried again! Apparently, when she went to her OB for a routine check-up, the doc failed to locate a heartbeat. An ultrasound showed that the fetus measured at eight and a half weeks but she's at her eleventh week of pregnancy.

Remember more than a year ago when she first miscarried?

She deserved it for being such a gank. The heavens are obvs punishing her.

She should just release Beck from her cold, nerveless fingers since he is indirectly (undeservedly) suffering from her punishment from above. I mean, I don't get the attraction. She's not even that pretty or talented. She's overrated, if you ask me.

Grunch.

...

...

**SUPERIOR COURT OF CALIFORNIA,  
COUNTY OF HOLLYWOOD  
**

**MARRIAGE OF:  
**PETITIONER 1: **Jade West  
**PETITIONER 2: **Beck Oliver**

**JOINT PETITION FOR SUMMARY DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE**

We petition for a summary dissolution of marriage,and declare that all the following conditions exist on the date this petition is filed with the court:

1. We have read and understand the _Summary Dissolution Information _booklet (form FL-810).

2. We were married on October 31, 2018.

3. We separated on May 14, 2022_._

4. Less than five years have passed between the date of our marriage and the date of our separation.

5. One of us has lived in California for at least six months and in the county of filing for at least the three months preceding the date of filing.

6. There are no minor children who were born of our relationship before or during our marriage or adopted by us during our marriage. We are not, to our knowledge, pregnant.

x x x

14. Irreconcilable differences have caused the irremediable breakdown of our marriage, and each of us wishes to have the court dissolve our marriage without our appearing before a judge.

x x x

[SGD.] Jade West  
Petitioner 1

[**_SIGN HERE!_**] Beck Oliver  
Petitioner 2

...

...

(_Glass breaking_)  
_Text Message  
_8:00 a.m. - Beck  
Are you crazy? I'm not going to sign that!

.

(_Glass breaking_)  
_Text Message  
_8:00 a.m. - Beck  
And May 14 is YESTERDAY! In case you haven't noticed, we're still living in the same house! WE ARE NOT SEPARATED! I could be inside of our bedroom in five seconds if YOU JUST UNLOCK THE STUPID DOOR!

.

(_Glass breaking_)  
_Text Message  
_8:10 a.m. - Beck  
I just consulted my lawyer and he said that we're not even qualified for summary dissolution of marriage!

.

(_Glass breaking_)  
_Text Message  
_8:12 a.m. - Beck  
JADE! If you don't open that door in two seconds, I'm breaking in!

.

(_Ha_!)  
_Text Message  
_2:30 p.m. - Beck  
Hey, Rob. Do you know a guy who would sign a confidentiality agreement and would install a new bedroom door, no questions asked?

...

...

B,

Thanks for not giving up on me and my psychosis.

J.

_-A note attached on the steaming cup of coffee Beck found on his bedside table when he woke up._

...

...

Dear Diary,

Hi! It's me again! It's Cat, in case you forgot! Hiiii! :) :) :)

I had the best day today! Jade and Beck and Tori and Andre and Robbie and I spent the day together. We went to Beck and Jade's house with pizza! And beer! I don't like beer, so Jade made me iced tea instead, using real ice and real tea! Then we went swimming in the pool.

Jade was a little sad because we lost Nugget a few months ago, but she laughed when Beck told her that they'll try again or die trying! Beck picked her up and carried her off. We didn't see them again until it was time to leave. I wanted to go to their room and warn them that Andre and Robbie will finish off the pizza, but Tori told me to just save them a piece! Which I did!

It was fun! I hope we can do it again!

xxxooo,

Cat.

...

...

* * *

**From the Desk of Sinjin Van Cleef**

* * *

Sinjin's Things to Do

1. Make an appointment with Monique Lhuillier for J's gown (Aaaaah! Beck's first major award nomination!).

2. Drop off stuff at the dry-cleaners.

3. Meet with Schneider Studios rep for a TV-Movie pitch.

4. Check the new set for new indie film.

5. Pick up pregnancy test for J :)

...

...

_Hi! You have reached Tori's voicemail, I am not available at the present moment, but if you leave your name, number and a short message I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible._

(_Beep._)

Hey, Tori. Are you with Jade? I've been trying to find her for hours. She doesn't have any appointment today and she didn't tell me she planned on leaving the house. I tried calling and texting her, but she won't answer. Cat hasn't seen her either. I'm beginning to get worried.

(_Click._)

...

...

(_Guitar strum_)  
_(Ha!)  
(Honking)  
Text Message  
_10:00 p.m. - Tori  
Guys! Beck's looking 4 Jade. Has any1 seen her?

.

(_Beep_)  
_Text Message  
_10:45 p.m. - Rob  
Hey, Beck. I heard you were looking for Jade. She just arrived in my apartment ten seconds ago. She said she just went for a walk and ended up here. I think she would have gone to Cat's but I live closer.

_.  
_

_(Ha!)  
Text Message  
_10:45 p.m. - Beck  
Don't let her leave! Tell her I'm on my way. Thanks, Rob.

...

...

_(Beep)  
Text Message  
_2:56 a.m. - Jade  
You always look for me when I'm lost. Thank you.

_.  
_

_(Glass breaking)  
Text Message  
_2:56 a.m. - Beck  
And I ALWAYS will. I love you. It comes with the package. But, babe, will you talk to me now? Tell me what's wrong. It feels weird to be snuggling in bed, texting but not talking.

_.  
_

_(Beep)  
Text Message  
_2:57 a.m. - Jade  
NO! If I say it out loud, it would become real.

_.  
_

_(Beep)  
Text Message  
_2:57 a.m. - Jade  
And I might cry. Again. I'm tired of crying.

.

_(Glass breaking)  
Text Message  
_2:58 a.m. - Beck  
Can you text me what's wrong?

_.  
_

_(Beep)  
Text Message  
_3:03 a.m. - Jade  
We're pregnant.

_.  
_

_(Beep)  
Text Message  
_3:04 a.m. - Jade  
See? It made you cry, too! Now what are we going to do?

_.  
_

_(Glass breaking)  
Text Message  
_3:05 a.m. - Beck  
Happy tears, babe. Happy tears.

_.  
_

_(Glass breaking)  
Text Message  
_3:05 a.m. - Beck  
I don't understand, tho. Being pregnant is a great thing. We wanted to get pregnant. Why are you so sad? Did you change your mind?

_.  
_

_(Beep)  
Text Message  
_3:12 a.m. - Jade  
But what if I lose it again?

...

...

I love you.

_-A note Beck found in the morning scribbled on the back of his hand using permanent marker._

...

...

**ToriVega**: So what happened?

**RockRobster**: She went to my condo so I called Beck and then left to give them privacy.

**GotBeck**: I found her crying as if her heart was breaking :(

**AndreH**: What's wrong?

**GotBeck**: She found out she's pregnant.

**ToriVega**: But it's a good thing, right? The pregnancy?

**RockRobster**: Yeah, why the meltdown?

**GotBeck**: It is! But she's scared that she's going to lose this one also.  
**GotBeck**: And she's worried because it's barely four months since she underwent D&C.  
**GotBeck**: If I ever get my hands on that blogger who said that Jade's being punished by killing off her children, I'm gonna kill him! Or her!

**ToriVega**: :(

**AndreH**: Did you tell her that it's not her fault?

**GotBeck**: Yes, repeatedly. And I also told her that if we lose the baby, we'll keep on trying until the doctor begs us to stop.  
**GotBeck**: Then we'll adopt dogs and bunnies.  
**GotBeck**: And I told her that there's a lot of babies out there that need love. And we have a lot of love to give.

**ToriVega**: Aw :) She's ok now, right?

**GotBeck**: Yes, she's better this morning.  
**GotBeck**: And blaming her "episode" on hormones.

**ToriVega**: I'm glad she's okay.

ScissorLuv logged in the chat.

**ScissorLuv**: You guys better not be talking about me behind my back.

**AndreH**: Eep!

AndreH logged off the chat.

RockRobster logged off the chat.

**ToriVega**: Um, congrats on d baby, Jade! Bye!

ToriVega logged off the chat.

**GotBeck**: It's you and me, babe ;)

ScissorLuv logged off the chat.

**GotBeck**: I guess it's just me :(

...

...

_A 911 call transcript_

(_Ring_)

Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?

Man: I need an ambulance! Send one immediately at 143 Hollywood Heights. Hurry! Oh my god!

Dispatcher: Sir, please calm down. What is the nature of your emergency?

Man: It's my wife! Oh my god. I can't believe this is happening! _(Unintelligible)_

Dispatcher: Sir, help is on the way. What's your name?

Man: Beck Oliver.

Dispatcher: You need to tell me what's going on so I can help you.

Man: MY WIFE IS GIVING BIRTH IN OUR BATHROOM! She's two weeks early! (_To companion_) No, baby, please don't push, not yet! (To dispatcher) She says she needs to push!

Dispatcher: Sir, I need you to move your wife in a more sanitary environment. Maybe your bed? You can put the shower curtains on your bed then cover it with clean sheets. Then get clean towels, as many as you can find. After, walk your wife to the bed and ask her to find the most comfortable position. She can lie down, sit up or squat.

Man: (_To companion_) I'll be back in two seconds. (_Long pause. To dispatcher_) We're at the bed now, she's lying down. WHERE'S THE HELP YOU PROMISED ME?

Dispatcher: Sir, you need to calm down. Wash your hands so you can help your wife.

Companion, from the background: I NEED THIS THING OUT OF MY VAGINA!

Man: (_To companion_) Oh my god. Don't push!

Dispatcher: Sir, you should encourage your wife to push gently. And get to a position where you can see the baby come out.

Man: (_To companion_) I changed my mind. Push. No, gently, babe. Gently. SHIT. I think I can see the head. The head is coming out! (_Long pause._) Oh my god!

Dispatcher: Is the head out?

Man: The head is out! What do I do?

Dispatcher: Look or feel with your fingers if the umbilical cord is around the baby's neck.

Man: _(Pause)_ No, no cord.

Dispatcher: That's great! You're doing well, dad. Now, the next contraction should deliver the baby.

Man: (_To companion_) Babe, she says we're doing great. The shoulders are slipping out!

Dispatcher: The baby would now slip out rather easily.

(_Crying noise_)

Man: He's out! Our baby's out. But there's a lot of blood!

Dispatcher: Congratulations, daddy! And that's not cause for alarm. Clean the baby using towels.

Man: _(Laughs)_ Should I cut the umbilical cord? We have a LOT of scissors around here.

Dispatcher: No, sir. If the umbilical cord is long enough, put your baby on your wife's chest and put him to her breast, then cover them both with towels.

Man: Done.

Dispatcher: The emergency team's on your front gate. You need to let them in.

Man: I don't want to leave my family. Maybe you could ask them to just break in?

Companion: NO!

Man: On second thought, I'm gonna go let them in. Thanks, uh?

Dispatcher: Thea.

Man: Thanks, Thea.

Dispatcher: It was my pleasure to help. Congrats again, daddy.

Man: Thanks. So much.

(_Phone call cut off._)

...

...

Thea,

Merry Christmas!

-Beck, Jade & Seth

_-On the card attached to a giant food basket sent to the dispatchers' office on Christmas eve._

...

**THE END**


End file.
